July 3, 2012

  • HELP ME LEARN, PLEASE?

    So if you know me very well, you probably know I don’t know very many healthy coping mechanisms.

    One of the things my councelor wanted me to think about was healthier coping mechanisms.

    I see her next Thursday, and I haven’t come up with much.

    I’m hoping you guys would be willing to help make suggestions on ways I could cope when stressed or anxious &/or share what you do to cope.

    I’d really appreciate it!

    One thing I know therapist always say is journaling and that doesn’t work for me. Blogging on here helps sometimes, but sometimes I’m too frantic to come get on computer and write and other times my laptop isn’t available to me when I get anxious/stressed.

    I would say running is a good option for me, but right now in this heat, it’s not such a great idea lol. I’d hate to get heat stroke or pass out or something trying to run when it’s in the 100s here lol.

    Anyways, any advice you can give would be awesome. Oh, and I don’t typically ask for it, but if you could REC this then it’d be seen by more and I could possibly get more responses and more advice on coping mechanisms. So yeah, REC please?

    Thanks guys!

Comments (37)

  • How do I cope with stress? I’ll usually vent to a friend or scribble down my thoughts in a journal (that goes for when I’m really upset with someone as well). If I really feel up to it, I’ll take a relaxing shower and cry for a bit. I’m strange, but it helps me.

  • You need to open up to someone you trust. Someone to whom you can be honest with your thoughts and emotions.

  • Having a favorite selection of music that calms you down could help, or a pet?

  •   just  talk to a friend somtime it may help

  • Write out your frustrations.  Separately, write what you are good at, and proud of, in your life.  I guarantee there are things you are awesome at, so give yourself credit for that.  Luck and love to you!!!

  • I love hot bubble baths! I lay and soak and just let myself unwind. 

  • Yeah… Mind if I just spy on this post a few times to see what people offer up? I could use the advice myself :p

    Running works for me too, but I agree, it’s too hot. Maybe when blogging doesn’t work, try distracting things like reading. Do you read much? I drive a semi, and I use audio books on my Ipod to just flat out distract me, and often times after getting lost in the story for a little while, I come back to “reality” and with a clear head I get a new perspective on whatever I’m struggling with at the time. Maybe a crappy idea, but I thought I’d throw it out there.

  • Also spying on this post.

    Cuddling helps me, but it’s rough when my boyfriend isn’t around.  Reading can help too, and/or studying.

    Other than that, I’ve been having trouble myself so I’ll be hanging around this post. :)

  • meditation maybe?

  • Deep, slow breathing might help.  Also stay away from caffeine and sugary things.  And eat healthy food at regular intervals, especially if you have blood sugar issues.

    But yeah running is good, when it’s hot I run in my house, I do a circuit from my front door to my basement and back, ran 40 minutes today.  If you have emotional issues, abuse, etc that is the source of the anxiety obviously work on that.

  • I asked a friend and she recommended getting your mind off of things, working on other peoples’ problems, helping/encouraging others.

  • Walking works too, if it is too hot to run or you are not a runner (I am not.)

    Sometimes it is good to do some type of labor – got a closet that needs reorganizing? tub to scrub? weeds to pull? If your house is spotless, find a place to volunteer.

    Another way to “get away” from worries is to “go” to another time. Pick a time in your furture and begin to plan it. For example, you could plan your dream house or that vacation you’re going to take one day. Plan every detail. Spending some time in the future can help you see past present day stressful situations to a brighter day.

  • Mostly I cope with stress by suppressing it and then having a complete meltdown later.  Don’t do that.
    I think mostly if you can just give yourself a bit of a break, then you just have to deal with it by taking the actual issues one by one.  Breaks are vital, though, or we just burn up.
    I did used to have panic attacks at times.  I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but if I could get a moment alone, I would sing.  I could hardly get it out at first (which was fine, since I sound awful even when I can breathe) but concentrating on the lyrics and tune would gradually settle me and bring me back to breathing normally.
    Another thing I do if I am worrying about something and just need to give myself a break from it is to play word games in my head.  For instance, thinking of words to which an S can be added to make a new one (mile, smile. pray, spray).  If I find myself going back to my original thoughts before I’m ready, I make the game harder.  These may not be your sort of thing, but perhaps the ideas will spark something.  I think, in order for coping methods to work, they really have to be personalized.

  • @lanney - I like the music idea. Trying to remember lyrics of long forgotten songs is very distracting.

  • Using stress balls or kneeding clay
    Drawing, coloring, or painting
    Thinking about where you are in the moment
    Think calming thoughts/create a “happy place”
    Jumping jacks, or other indoor exercises when it’s too hot to run
    Yoga
    Go for a walk
    Listening to relaxing music
    Reading
    Talking
    Singing
    Take a nap
    Take a hot shower/warm bath
    Make friendship bracelets, knit or crochet

  • I don’t know what sort of a background you come from, but taking your anxieties to the Lord is the only way I manage to cope with the tough stuff. Some days I wake up to a panic attack that comes out of nowhere. But fear/depression don’t own me any more–Christ does. When I feel like I’m drowning, I know that I need to take a time out with my Bible and spend time talking with God. I may not understand what’s going on with myself, but He does. Hope that helps. :)

    1 Peter 5:6-7  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.

  • I’m really glad I saw this post.  I’m in a place right now where I needed to read it and the comments.  I don’t have very many good coping mechanisms either.  Thanks for offering this up. God bless you and good luck.

  • I don’t know what is stressing you but when I was desperate for a job after my divorce and with two children depending on me I landed a commission only sales job.  Hard work, often I would break out in hives.  Behind the building was a dumpster and I would go out and throw rocks at it until I was near exhausted.  There are a lot of ways to expend surpulus energy to calm down.  Nights I would rearrange furniture the heavier the better.  Anything to use that nervous energy.

  • You may get some temporary relief through various coping mechanisms, but the God, the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ, is THE God of ALL comfort. There is no true and genuine comfort apart from Christ… If you hear His voice, come to Him so you might know peace in the midst of a chaotic world, peace that passes understanding.

    Matthew 11:28  Come to ME, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

    John 16:33  I have said these things to you, that in ME you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

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  • Exercise is usually my go to – or smoking a bowl, but I know from experience that therapists usually don’t approve of that one! Sometimes I turn on some music and just dance whatever emotion I am feeling. Reading a good book when feeling overwhelmed by life is a good break, just as long as you allow yourself to go back later and address the issues that caused anxiety or depression, etc. in the first place. I also write, draw/paint, or call up my bf/ a friend if there’s something that is really getting to me. Talking it out helps but it’s not always the best because sometimes, with psychological issues, it just springs up before it’s given us a chance to realize why. I’ve started to meditate to change the way I feel about my thoughts… This and yoga have helped me to learn that I am strong enough to sit through my uncomfortable states when they happen. If I breathe and let them happen, eventually, everything has the ability to pass… 

    Developing a practice is not a quick fix by any means – but those don’t really work anyway. It would be my number one suggestion coupled with therapy, but it may not be good for everyone – and people tend to give up on it too fast.. Funny ’cause we were actually talking about this tonight in my guided meditation class and many people came forward and said that it’s been the only combination that has helped them get back in touch with their true selves …and all the unconscious stuff we shove way down inside of us because we believe we are supposed to act a certain way in society, it comes bubbling up. We just have to be brave enough to acknowledge that it is there, accept it, and then let it be – or let it go, depending on the issue at hand. I would also suggest trying something out of your comfort zone if you find yourself coping negatively out of feelings of low self-worth. Knowing that you can push your boundaries and even accomplish a new task is a huge confidence booster. You don’t have to like it, you just have to be proud that you went out on a limb! I wish you nothing but the best! xoxoxo! 

  • I talk things out with friends or family, and read books. I try to find the humor in things as well.

  • I cope by cleaning and blogging and talking to others about it.

  • Try to find the humor in things.  Lexis had it right.  Listen to good comedians like Jon Stewart, Joel McHale, Dana Carvey, Richard Pryor, Harry Shearer, etc.  Learn to be funny.  Learn to make people laugh.  Dress like a clown.  NO, forget about the clown suit.

  • I use to stress a lot until I learned to compartmentalize.  What I mean is this:  Work stays at work. Home stays at home.  Where I’m at is where I’m at.  Reading books has really helped me stay focused upon my deeds at hand.  I also work off a list.  I forget about the task until I work the list. 

  • Swimming or working out – punching bags are great if you have one available. Talking, crying, listening to music.
    One thing that I used to do is every weekend is I would scrub down the bathroom like a madwoman. (This was when I was living at home, with six to seven other people, so the bathroom definitely needed cleaned after a week.) After that, I’d light some candles, preferably in a relaxing scent that isn’t headache-inducing, and hop into the shower to wash the sweat off (and shave). Sometimes, I’d close my eyes and picture myself in a beautiful setting, showering under a waterfall. If you have a nature sounds cd, that can really help set the location in your mind. Then I’d throw in the drain stop and add bubbles and just lie in a bubble bath, and relax. After that, I’d lotion up and “sand” off any tough skin from my feet, do my finger and toe nails (file/shape, push back cuticles, paint). It was a weekly self-spa treatment type thing. It really helped a lot, and sort of washed away the week’s stress.
    Masturbation is also a great stress reliever… unless you “get stuck”… but you may not be comfortable mentioning that to a counselor.

  • Create something.  The more details the better.  I don’t know why this is, but being creative helps me manage a plethora of unpleasant emotions.  It’s a very good distraction.  Creative writing.  Drawing.  Sewing.  The game MineCraft, heh.  :)  

  • I was actually surprised to see how many people depend on some other person who is close enough and trusted enough and willing enough to just let them vent their frustration on them. That’s one way I’ve dealt with anger and/or rage for the past 11 years or so (thanks Char), and having someone like that is a true blessing for someone like me. It’s given me time and freedom to not only react to things, but to take enough time doing it to see it, examine it, try to understand it. I’ve learned that my rage almost always springs from one or more of the following: pain, fear, or pride. Knowing that doesn’t solve anything, but it does equip me to make an informed efort to do better with those things, try to learn to recognize them when they’re tormenting me BEFORE I give control over to them. I love freedom, and I despise things that can take control of me and make me do things against my will. I wasn’t born to be a slave, and neither were you.

    The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. (Isa 61:1-3)

    Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men. (Eph 4:8)

    … that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. (2Ti 2:26)

    My first peice of advice for you is just to cultivate that kind of trusting relationship with someone. It won’t be a quick fix because a person like that isn’t easy to find, and a relationship like that isn’t formed in a day, but it would be a wise investment of your time and energy to do so as part of your long-term planning in this regard. Here’s a tip to help you find someone like that a little faster: Look among people who are on solid ground and not easily swayed or made to feel threatened. There is no better solution on earth.

    You’ve also been visited by some brothers and sisters who know what I’m talking about because they’ve experienced the following too. This is the only real solution to anyting, because it’s the only thing that you won’t waste your time getting to know. It doesn’t change as quickly as you learn about it. HIM actually:

    The Living God of all creation.

    You need a solid foundation to stand on when everything around you starts shifting around like sand under your feet, and faith in the ever living, never changing God is the only thing that fits the bill. He is always worthy of our complete trust. He’s rock solid, perfect, uncorruptible.

    Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. (Jas 1:17)

    For I am YHWH, I change not… (Mal 3:6)

    In large part it boils down to trust and whom or what you choose to invest your trust in. Science, philosophy, medicine, economics, politics, all those things change constantly, they offer no hope beyond the short term. They are purely reactionary and have no substantive character of their own. The only thing that will never change about them is the fact that they will always change; changes aren’t permanent, but change is.

    We weren’t designed to operate or thrive in a constant state of flux. We were designed to operate in the infinite, in eternity, and much of our discomfort and many of our errors spring from the fact that we aren’t operating in the right arena to start with. Our Maker designed into us the longing to find eternity and infinity.

    He hath made everything beautiful in its time: also he hath set eternity in their heart, yet so that man cannot find out the work that God hath done from the beginning even to the end. (Ecc 3:11)

    And the astounding thing is that it is His home he has set us in search of! Eternity is inhabited by our Maker.

    For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity… (Isa 57:15)

    And even more astounding is the fact that He wants us there with Him, which is really what it’s all about. And I mean what EVERYTHING is all about, everything in creation since day one. He wants us to be with Him! When God prayed, that’s what He prayed for, the one thing He asked for Himself! In this prayer we see the true heart of God as He prays for His own desire, and He prays for His own desire so that we could hear and see His heart and His real will for us:

    But now I come to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy made full in themselves. I have given them thy word; and the world hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them from the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth: thy word is truth. As thou didst send me into the world, even so sent I them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. Neither for these only do I pray, but for them also that believe on me through their word; that they may all be one; even as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be in us: that the world may believe that thou didst send me. And the glory which thou hast given me I have given unto them; that they may be one, even as we are one; I in them, and thou in me, that they may be perfected into one; that the world may know that thou didst send me, and lovedst them, even as thou lovedst me. Father, I desire that they also whom thou hast given me be with me where I am, that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world. (Joh 17:13-24)

     

  • Exercise, music, all really good suggestions. If it’s an issue with anger perhaps if it’s not too expensive you could invest in a punching bag and gloves?? I can’t offer up too much help in terms of dealing with the anxiety since my methods aren’t too healthy, either. =/ I tend to do things that just get my mind off of it, it doesn’t actually help me get over it. When I get pissed though I either clean, listen to music, or pick a wrestling match with my husband. Or all three. Lol. 

  • Well shucks, the comment editor chopped my comment all up and deleted some of it! Please feel free to message me any time if anything I’ve said interests you. Comment editors that don’t work right make me ANGRY

  • Writing is extremely therapeutic to me and you can’t always get to your laptop, so I write on the Notepad on my phone a lot. Then I post it later (though making it public isn’t always necessary). Yoga is really helpful. Sometimes just turning off the TV and any other noise around me & just closing my eyes for ten minutes to breathe slowly is really nice. If it’s not rush hour I like to go for a drive with some peaceful music & just enjoy the drive :) I’m not sure WHY you’re anxious, but often I’m just overwhelmed so writing everything down that I have to do (and have done) in a planner is helpful. Maps out my days AND makes me feel accomplished when I fill up the day!

  • Be mindful. :)
    Think to yourself, what do you see?
    What do you hear?
    What do you taste?
    What do you feel?
    What do you smell?

    It really helps me. It gets me to stop thinking about what’s making me anxious. It also makes me stop and see the beauty in the world. :)

  • in sobriety I have developed healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I exercise (not obsessively), call a friend, blog, and do TONS and TONS of arts and crafts. (collaging, modge podging, pinterest stuff) I also found when I wanted to cut I could stick my hands in freezing cold water or rub icy hot on them and that seemed to work for a while! otherwise I smoke and count calories- NOT HEALTHY :)

  • @naphtali_deer - Yeah christians are never stressed out or depressed…

  • Does your school have a gym?  I always run indoor because it’s way too dangerous to run outside.  Or go running early in the morning when it’s nice and  cool.

    Will rec your post.

  • go find something you like to do.  something that almost always puts a smile on your face.  simple meditation is always good.  somethings finding a cool air conditioned spot with a tall cool drinks helps.

  • I don’t know if it’s been said yet, but try yoga! Just some very chill “learn how to breathe and stretch your muscles” kind of yoga. That helps me.

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