August 27, 2013

• Forgetful = anxious :(

  I’m feeling super anxious today. I thought at first it was just being overwhelmed with all the workers in my house, installing laminate floors. There’s lots of noise and it sort of smells. I also started looking into contacting someone from the Radiation Program I’m interested in and all the information I looked up was overwhelming too. (It’d be a 12 month program… fall semester = 18 hours, spring semester = 18 hours, summer = 10 hours.) Then it started talking about a JRCERT and I don’t know what that is… I thought I just needed my pre-reqs from a college. Do I have to get certified with something else first? 

  
  Anyways, I figured I’d get out of my house since I was feeling overwhelmed and there was no way I could study physics with all that was going on. I went to UALR so I could study then work out. 

  I went to the library but I can’t focus and I’m still super anxious/jittery. 

  
  I’m sitting here, trying to read, feeling like someone’s drugged me when I realize…. I haven’t taken my citalopram since Thursday night. It’s for anxiety/depression. I refilled it Friday but left it in my car and I keep forgetting about it. I think I messed it a couple times last week too. Whoops….

  
  So yeah, I’m just going to sit here in the library and try to focus while still feeling like a carbonated drink that’s been shaken up a bunch. Gah!!! I want out of my skin. :/ 

  
  I feel ADD + ADHD + like I’m tripping on a bad drug (or what I’d assume that’d be like).

  Oh it feels like it’s hard to breathe and like my heart is going a million miles an hour. (I checked it though, it’s going a normal rate.) 

  If it wasn’t so hot outside and my backpack didn’t weigh 30 lbs. I walk out to my car and take it now. But instead, I’m going to try to study some, then go to the gym and hope running and maybe doing some weights will help calm me out. I hate feeling like this  

  • 1:25 pm
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