April 10, 2012
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What’s that? An ACTUAL update?!
I seem to write more so the bad in my life on here than the good. It’s not that I’m miserable, I just turn to this when I’m sad rather than when I’m excited. When I’m happy and everything is going great I tend to turn to the outside world. I use this as a place to vent or complain a lot. I guess it’s an outlet. I don’t want to vent to Trey about how his family drives me crazy on occasions, so I come here. I also talk to my Mom, but I don’t want to worry her that I’m miserable so I come here. I am happy though.
Things have been better recently. As of the last week to week and a half things with Trey’s Dad have felt better. I haven’t gotten that hostile vibe from here. I’m feeling part of the family again, not judge, accept. It’s all good again.
Things with Trey and I have been good. I had a slip up in January and I broke his trust a little. Then I was working on fixing it and fell a little again. So I’m working on regaining his full trust and making sure (for myself and for him) that I don’t slip again. He’s watching me very carefully now. I worry that it makes me a burden more so than a positive addition in his life, but he says as long as I’m being honest with him and behaving then he doesn’t care. It’s good he cares. If he didn’t it’d be a probable, because it would mean he didn’t care. I hate that I disappointed him. And the fact that I originally lied to him makes me feel like a failure. He’s honest with me, so he deserves nothing but the truth. I’m going to do my best to make sure I stay honest with him and don’t slip up ever again.
School’s been going good. I’ve been getting good grades for the most part. And I’ve improved in my comp 2 class. I’m almost done with the semester which seems crazy. Oh, recent grades:
~ I got an A- on my comp paper I turned in right before spring break.
~ The last two papers I’ve turned in in world civ. 1 I got a 95 and 92 on.
~ I made a 44 out of 45 on my first year experience class.
~ I made a 91 on my lab exam…
~ Umm… I’m still waiting on grades for my theater class, my professor is uber slow and getting stuff out.
~ I didn’t do so hot on my last A&P2 exam, but I was in the middle of a crisis and I’m going to make sure I study more before my next lecture exam (on Thursday) and I’ve been paying even more attention and studying even more throughout this last section so I should improve.
~ Oh, I made 10 out of 10 on a pop quiz in A&P2, which hardly anyone does good on. Then 8 out of 10 (which should of been 9 out of 10 because one of them I miss marked, ugh.)It’s crazy to think a month from now I’ll be in the middle of/nearly done with finals!
Oh, my birthday sucked. I hurt my hand the day before at work. I might’ve fractured a bone I think, so I couldn’t climb Pinnacle Mountain in the morning like I wanted. Trey took me to ihop for breakfast, which was really sweet and good, then I ran a few errand and then had to go to work later. Work sucked, I didn’t want to be there. We were super slow and I was forced to work because my manager guilt tripped me about how busy we are in April and no one else knows how to run the board and then he was an ass all night and he made fun out me. He came up to the hostess stand and then laid his arm up there and said to Madison, ohh I hurt my wrist when I laid it up there, don’t you hate it when that happens. Maybe I should go bandage it! Because I have an ACE bandage wrap on my hand/wrist to stabilize my fractured bone because I don’t want to spend the money to get it casted. It fucking pissed me off. I was standing up there the whole night, working when we weren’t even busy, holding back tears because it was throbbing and holding back tears and he had the audacity to mock me?! I was PISSED!
Plus, he fired one of my favorite people up there for a retarded reason. He was burning rubber in a neighborly parking lot, on his own time, and Dan saw and fired him because he was being dangerous and a liability to the restaurant even though the parking lot was completely empty and he was on his own time.
He was a good, hard worker. Dan was just being a prick.So work sucks, home life is good. I like working at the nursery (it just doesn’t have enough hours for my to just work there. [It's a church nursery so I only work one day a week for 2 1/2 hours]). Trey and I are good. Schools good. I’m good.
And now a few photos from recently…
Trey’s parents got me easter treats
The little monkey thang… when you wind it up, it does back flips! FREAKIN’ AWESOME!
They also got me a mini birthday cake!
How freakin’ cute!
Oh, and here’s the grade I got on my test I took Friday in my first year experience class which I’m so proud of!
That’s all
Comments (4)
I tend to do the same thing. I write my darkest thoughts on here, where like you I turn to the outside world when things are going great!
Did you cheat on Trey or something?
@AtrociousWoundsBleed - No, Never! I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever do that.
I had a slip up related to my past with my eating disorder. It was due to major stress and trying to hide my worrying instead of talking with him. I wanted him to think I was strong and instead I showed how weak I could be. I’m working on sticking to my recovery and regaining his trust. Instead of trying to keep my feelings bottled up to the point of becoming stress and coping with unhealthy mechanisms, I’m working on communication and talking about my feelings more with him.
I’m so glad to read this. It took me two years, one of which we were married, before I really internalized that Penny was part of everything in my life. It’s hard to share the baggage, but it makes dumping the stuff a whole lot easier.
Your manager sounds very immature. I’ve had a few of those in my working life. Whoever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
many people vent on xanga; when things are good, they disappear. i’ve gotten used to people disappearing.
I am glad that life is treating you well, and you’re getting a lot out of it. You’re a good student, keep up the good work.
I do hope that you recover quickly from your injury; can you get a athletic band to stablize things, instead of just a band-aid?
pinnacle mountain is really nice; there’s no mountain in TX. i do miss the mountain in Utah.