June 7, 2013

• Today sucks

  So I know I’m behind on the challenge thing I’m doing, but i’ve been in a shitty mood the last couple of days or just haven’t felt like writing. 

  Today has just sucked.

  Woke up about 9-9:30am (first night in a while that I slept that long without waking up.)

  I had a sucky dream that left me in a foul mood. 

  I didn’t work today, so pretty much stayed in the mood.

  Well, first I went to lay outside in the sun around 9:45am.

  Came in around 11am showered off. Then went to make a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

  In the middle of making my cereal, I went into the living room to ask my Mom a question and evidentally whatever was on tv was super important because the 2 secs I was speaking before she motioned for me to shut up, ruined the show and she turned it off. I told her to turn it back on but she said it was too late. (Fucking really?! Grow the fuck up woman!)

  So that pissed me off and I yelled at her from the kitchen to turn the fucking tv back on because that was clearly super important and not to worry, because now I realize that the tv is so much more fucking important than me and that I just shouldn’t ever talk anymore. I would’ve said fuck the cereal, but I’d already began to unpeel the banana I was going to put in it. 

  So I took my cereal to my room, finished it, then went to the gym shortly after that. 

  Ran a mile, did a few tumbling passes on some gym mats that happened to be there, 50 push ups (30 on a balancing ball, 20 normally), 50 inclined sit ups, a few pull ups, and 25 things on each arm {where I was on my hands and knees and I would take a 25 lbs weight and pull it up to my chest/shoulder and bring it back down.}

  Came home, laid out for 30 more minutes before coming in to hopefully skype with Trey. 

  That was at 2:00pm (9pm his time) I stayed by my computer (though I did dose off for maybe 30-40 minutes around 3-4pm) and finally said fuck it at 4:00pm and went to shower off from the gym. 

  I’m pissed that I didn’t get to skype with him. I was really wanting to after my dream last night. I’m assuming he went out to a bar or club or some shit since it’s a Friday night (now Sat morning) over there. What the fuck ever. 

  If I had a friend to drink with I’d do that too. Hey, I can get fucking wasted and not give a shit enough to consider you too. Anyways, I’m venting and also assuming things. 

  I made a small chicken and egg white sandwich  around 5:30-6pm. Then went out just a minute ago and got a vanilla cone from mcdonalds and went by a redbox to pick up “Warm Bodies”. Some dude was trying to flirt with me at the redbox which was sort of flattering, but whatever. 

  He also inquired about my tattoo, which is the eating disorder recovery tat, and I told him what it meant. He said it was cool and he’d never had guessed I had had one because I looked so healthy. 

  I’m glad I can now take that as a compliment. In the past, I can see my eating disordered mind turning that into an insult. I’m glad I look healthy. Hell, I was using heavier weights in the gym today than one guy I saw.. Ha!

  I’m still in a foul mood and don’t want to interact with people (in person that is, I don’t mind people from the interweb). This better wear off before tomorrow because I work 10-6pm. 

  Mehh, and I haven’t done any of my homework for counseling yet. It was assigned Tuesday and my next appointment/when it’s due is Tuesday. Blllerrrrr

  This is longer than it was supposed to be…

  • 7:51 pm
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