July 25, 2013

• Rambling about something… Might not even make sense.

  I’ve been sort of busy. Well, I guess I’ve just been unmotivated to write. 

  I’ve been working, spending time with Trey when we’re not both working, working out more, and reading. I’ve been on computer, but when I have been it’s more so been just updating a facebook status or reading people stuff on here or facebook. 

  I have something I wanted to vent about from Monday at the dentist but I’ll save that for later. 

  I guess right now what I want to talk about is something more recent. 

  So Cara had her baby Friday morning. She weighed 7 lbs and some ounces. Her doctor is the biggest moron of a doctor I’ve ever heard of. He rushed the delivery. She wasn’t dilating (hence, not ready). He induced her, gave her an epidural too soon, fucked that up so they had to put her under all the way. And this was all before she was even due. Cara wasn’t overweight and she was little so she should’ve been able to deliver her naturally (which was the plan before the doctor said she “couldn’t”. 
  Anyways, Demi’s healthy and they both came home Sunday night. I got to see her in person for the first time Monday night and after eating dinner with Trey, that’s pretty much all I did. I helped change a diaper because Cara kind of put it off on me “since I’ve probably down more of these than her”. -.- I didn’t mind since it was a pee diaper and not a poo diaper, but whatevers. At least I got to see Demi. Then I held her pretty much for the next 2 hours or so. She’s so little and precious. (Good thing I’m on the depo shot or I’d want one lol.)

  But to get to the point… While downstairs holding Demi, I asked Trey’s Dad a question. We talked a bit and I said something that I told him I didn’t want him repeating. I specifically asked him to not say anything about it… if he had a problem with that he should’ve said something then. 

  This morning I went over to Trey’s house early and got into bed with him. After sleeping a little more we were awake and talking before showering. We weren’t talking about anything in particular, just silly/cute stuff, when he says “I don’t mean to ruin the mood, but… my Dad told me what you two talk about.” 

  I guess I was stupid to trust his Dad, but still, I feel betrayed. Plus, Trey got onto me for talking to his Dad about something he’d preferred I not mentioned, but he’s done the exact same thing (told his Dad and Mom stuff about me, I’d told him specifically to keep quiet). So I’m upset because 1) I got fussed at, 2) I feel betrayed, 3) there’s a double standard, and 4) when I mentioned the thing to him there he lied to my face. 

  I’ll be respectful and not mention what the thing is, but still. I’m really pissed at his Dad. I’m hoping I don’t see him or have to communicate with him for a bit. I need space from his snitching ass. 

  I’m also really upset about the subject discussed. It something silly, really not that big of a deal. But when I ask him about it, he denies it and lies! I can’t reveal to him how I know for a fact that he’s lying but I do know, 100% positive. 

  It’s not the first time this sort of “thing” has occurred and at least this time but not as bad, but I still don’t understand it. I’m going to try to drop it because bringing it up will only cause fighting and it really isn’t an issue, it just bugs me. 

  I have three possible reasons why it might have been done… one idea is not that bad, one is sort of sad, and the other idea is terrifying and horrible. I’m hoping it’s the first idea… but I guess I can’t know for sure. 

  I’ve just got to accept that I don’t know, I need to drop it, and bringing it up will only cause arguments and trouble. 

  Sorry this is so vague. If you think you know what this is about, you can send a message and ask. I won’t necessarily say what it is, but if you’re right I’ll say yes and if not I’ll tell you you’re not. I’m not trying to make this like a game.. I just.. I don’t want people possibly reading other things into it and assuming that’s what’s going on. And if this is so vague that it doesn’t even make sense, sorry. 

  • 10:15 pm
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