Month: July 2013

  • You aren't...

  • Rambling about something... Might not even make sense.

    I've been sort of busy. Well, I guess I've just been unmotivated to write. 

    I've been working, spending time with Trey when we're not both working, working out more, and reading. I've been on computer, but when I have been it's more so been just updating a facebook status or reading people stuff on here or facebook. 
    I have something I wanted to vent about from Monday at the dentist but I'll save that for later. 
    I guess right now what I want to talk about is something more recent. 
    So Cara had her baby Friday morning. She weighed 7 lbs and some ounces. Her doctor is the biggest moron of a doctor I've ever heard of. He rushed the delivery. She wasn't dilating (hence, not ready). He induced her, gave her an epidural too soon, fucked that up so they had to put her under all the way. And this was all before she was even due. Cara wasn't overweight and she was little so she should've been able to deliver her naturally (which was the plan before the doctor said she "couldn't". 
    Anyways, Demi's healthy and they both came home Sunday night. I got to see her in person for the first time Monday night and after eating dinner with Trey, that's pretty much all I did. I helped change a diaper because Cara kind of put it off on me "since I've probably down more of these than her". -.- I didn't mind since it was a pee diaper and not a poo diaper, but whatevers. At least I got to see Demi. Then I held her pretty much for the next 2 hours or so. She's so little and precious. (Good thing I'm on the depo shot or I'd want one lol.)
    But to get to the point... While downstairs holding Demi, I asked Trey's Dad a question. We talked a bit and I said something that I told him I didn't want him repeating. I specifically asked him to not say anything about it... if he had a problem with that he should've said something then. 
    This morning I went over to Trey's house early and got into bed with him. After sleeping a little more we were awake and talking before showering. We weren't talking about anything in particular, just silly/cute stuff, when he says "I don't mean to ruin the mood, but... my Dad told me what you two talk about." 
    I guess I was stupid to trust his Dad, but still, I feel betrayed. Plus, Trey got onto me for talking to his Dad about something he'd preferred I not mentioned, but he's done the exact same thing (told his Dad and Mom stuff about me, I'd told him specifically to keep quiet). So I'm upset because 1) I got fussed at, 2) I feel betrayed, 3) there's a double standard, and 4) when I mentioned the thing to him there he lied to my face. 
    I'll be respectful and not mention what the thing is, but still. I'm really pissed at his Dad. I'm hoping I don't see him or have to communicate with him for a bit. I need space from his snitching ass. 
    I'm also really upset about the subject discussed. It something silly, really not that big of a deal. But when I ask him about it, he denies it and lies! I can't reveal to him how I know for a fact that he's lying but I do know, 100% positive. 
    It's not the first time this sort of "thing" has occurred and at least this time but not as bad, but I still don't understand it. I'm going to try to drop it because bringing it up will only cause fighting and it really isn't an issue, it just bugs me. 
    I have three possible reasons why it might have been done... one idea is not that bad, one is sort of sad, and the other idea is terrifying and horrible. I'm hoping it's the first idea... but I guess I can't know for sure. 
    I've just got to accept that I don't know, I need to drop it, and bringing it up will only cause arguments and trouble. 
    Sorry this is so vague. If you think you know what this is about, you can send a message and ask. I won't necessarily say what it is, but if you're right I'll say yes and if not I'll tell you you're not. I'm not trying to make this like a game.. I just.. I don't want people possibly reading other things into it and assuming that's what's going on. And if this is so vague that it doesn't even make sense, sorry. 

  • I LOVE going to the gym! :D

    Totally wasn't feeling like it, but I dragged my butt to the gym. 


    Ran a mile in 7:15 (not my best, but definitely not my worst),
    Did 6 sets of 15 push ups and sit ups, then one set of 10 for a TOTAL of 100 each.
    Then did 5 pull-ups just because. 

    Had two guys "whispering" stuff about me while I did my push ups and one finally asked how many I had done so far (I was at 60). He asked if I was in the service and I told him no, but my fiance is. (My way of saying don't flirt with me because my guy can fight for me lol.) He said I was impressive so I thanked him then continued because I didn't want him trying to chat me up anymore lol. 

    Then after doing 5 pull-ups (yes, I can do more, just preferably not after doing 100 push ups [and I do male military standard push ups, not "girl" pushups]), I had a lady tell me how impressed she was. She asked if I did P90x and I told her no, I just worked out with my fiance who's in the army lol. She went on about how impressed she was about my pull ups asked how many I could do and I joked she should've seen the 100 push ups I just finished lol. 

    Anyways, she was asking about my work outs and said she was happy to see I was helping keep things more balanced in this gym lol. 

    Best of all, she said I was inspirational to her and a motivation!   : ))) Awww! My day is made!

  • Survey again.. I think this one was from @icecat123

    01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking theperson you like right now?

    He was sweet and respectful and caring and cute and reallynice. JSo a lot of things! Lol

    02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?

    Nothing really.

    03: what was your last thought before going to bed lastnight?

    It’s warm… but I also want to cuddle up with Trey.. meh, I’lldeal with the warmth for cuddles. :3

    04: what are you listening to?

    My ceiling fan.

    05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?

    I have to close both Friday and Saturday.

    06: where do you think your best friend is right now?

    Helping with VBS maybe.

    07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?

    Yesh

    08: sex on the first date?

    No thank you!

    09: kiss on the first date?

    Possibly. I haven’t personally, but I wouldn’t say doing sois a no-no.

    10: is there one person you want to be with right now?

    Yeah, but they’re at work, so it’s okay.

    11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?

    I’m content. Things aren’t bad, but I do think the futureholds better, brighter things (:

    12: is there something you would like to say tosomeone?

    You’re kind of loco...

    13: what are three things you did today?

    Tumbled, went to the gym at the air base, watch some war reenactmentwith Trey.

    14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?

    Probably the friend’s house.

    15: what is your favorite kind of gum?

    Wrigley’s watermelon, Wrigley’s 5 Rain & tinglingspearment & cooling peppermint, and stride

    16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/girlfriends?

    Nope. I only have one ex and I wouldn’t be his friend in amillion years

    17: what is on your wrists right now?

    A pony tail

    18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand achance with?

    Yeah, because he was four years older than me. Turned out, Idid get a chance… wish I hadn’t have though.

    19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?

    I think they do (:

    20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?

    I don’t think I am.

    21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?

    Yep, that ex I was speaking of.

    22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?

    Yes! I took ASL1 last semester! :D It was awesome.

    23: how have you felt today?

    Excited, thrilled, wonderful, cheerful, a little frustrated,and energetic

    24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do youspend it on?

    It’d probably end up going towards gas and groceries. Yeah,I get wild XP

    25: what is wrong with you right now?

    … I didn’t know there was anything wrong with me? ):

    26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?

    At the moment, no. But just throughout life… myself.

    27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juiceright now?

    STARBUCKS!!!

    28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?

    cause he’s a pedophile creep ass.

    29: how late did you stay up last night and why?

    10-10:30ish, because Trey was gaming and I started tiny chatto kill time.

    30: when was the last time you talked to one of yourbest friends?

    I saw an old friend today!

    31: what were you doing an hour ago?

    Eating my protein smoothie with a spoon xp

    32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?

    Nothing too much going on

    33: are you wearing jeans right now?

    Sort of. They’re shorts and they look like denim, but I’mnot sure the actual material.

    34: are you a patient person?

    Heh, not really.

    35: do you think you can last in a relationship forthree months?

    My current and longest relationship is 1 year and 9 monthsand counting (the first and shortest was 8 months), so yes.

    36: favorite color?

    Pink… or bright blue.. maybe purple.

    37: did you have a dream last night?

    Yeah, I usually do.

    38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, orpajama pants?

    Shorts… I should switch to pajama pants though!

    39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, whowould you want it to be?

    Trey :3

    40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?

    Yes!!

    41: if someone liked you right now, would you want themto tell you?

    Umm.. I guess. That way I’d be aware and I could make surethey realized I was taken and there was no hope.

    42: do you like meeting new people?

    Meh, depends.

    43: are you afraid of falling in love?

    Maybe in the past, but not now.

    44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?

    Both :/ But I’m better now and I don’t do that anymore.

    45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

    Yesh, they have :3

    46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?

    A lot! I’m working on that now. 

  • Ha! I'm easily amused

  • Beautiful little poem

    Hey little fighter ,
    Please drop your handy lighter
    Give me your razors ..
    Now please lift up your sleeves .
    Your scars may stay but that doesn't mean your bruises won't fade away .
    Now please eat , because , angel you're worth something to me .
    So take it in .... take it in
    And breathe ..
    Know that things do get better ..
    Because , darling , even in this gloomy weather ..
    It can't rain forever ♥
    Not mine. A friend on facebook posted it. I don't know if it's hers or she saw it somewhere, and I can't find the source online, so yeah. 

  • Wow... The Nursery today.. just wow

    So when I work the nursery I am technically supposed to have a helper in there with me (for assistance and probably legal reasons too), so my Mom came back because I had two kids. I've never had them before, but one was Kallie (2 yrs old) and one was DeShawn (who's birthday was today and he was 5 yrs). They come with their grandma who's has them (and six other kids) every other weekend. 
    Shortly after, I got Sam (who's an only child and really good at entertaining himself; he's a sweetheart) and Chase (who've I've never had, but he was there with his grandma). Chase's grandma stayed too since Chase wanted her to.
    Kallie, Chase, and Sam were all great. Kallie was an angel. 
    DeShawn, however... he kept throwing toys down, yelling, refusing to share, and he was very angry and defiant. After throwing a fit about having to wait his turn for a toy, I finally got him distracted with coloring. After 5 minutes, he started throwing the crayons up and making a big mess. I told him if he did that he'd have to pick them up. 
    Since we had about 10 minutes left, I suggested we start picking up and he through a fit! He yelled at me when I nicely asked him to help clean up, things like "I don't want to", "NOOOOO!", "I'm not gonna". I showed how Kallie was helping and offered to help him clean up but explained that I wasn't going to do it all for him. He ran off and started trying to color on his shirt, a table, and a drum so I finally had to take the crayon from him. I explained that part of playing with things is picking them up when we're finished and if we don't pick stuff up when we're done, we might not be able to play with them later when we come back. I asked him, nicely but assertively, to come help me pick the crayons up and he started screaming and crying. -.-
    Ms. Deanne had just walked in to see if anyone wanted to go to Communion real quick, but instead she went over to the rocking chair to talk to him. She ended up rocking him to get him to calm down. Then Sam slipped and hurt his knee and he was crying. *facepalm* While holding Kallie, I checked on him and after a few minutes he calmed down. 
    Overall, it was a busy Sunday. But my Mom told me that Chase's grandma had commented to her that I was handling DeShawn very well and she was impressed. Yay :D Considering I don't have a lot of experience with defiant kids, I'll take it! 
    From what Ms. Deanna told me (she knows the grandmother), their home life might be a little hectic. I don't know much about it, but from just today I can tell he has some anger issues and defiance issues. I think part of it is for attention perhaps, but I don't know. He's a handful, but I wouldn't mind having him every other Sunday (since that's when his grandma had him), because I think coming to church could benefit him.