May 16, 2013
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Go home Reilly, you’re drunk
Yeah, so honestly, I’m either tipsy or drunk now. I drank half a coffee ale and had a bitburger and now I’m splitting one with Trey. I don’t know what percentage bitburger is but the coffee ale was 9.something percent and I had half of it. I on;y get to drink on nights when I’m able to spend the night with Trey… tonight happens to be one of those nights…
I came on with an idea or an attention of writing about a specific topic, if only i could remember…/I might remember it.This is the point where I ought to stop drinking because I feel it but Trey is gamin and he doesn’t normally allow me to drink this much so oh well.I had counseling Wednesday. What I got from it was basically I was sexually abused (that’s the not the topic or reason for counseling but it came up), I was just cohersed. So I wasn’t forced or sexually abuse, simply, i was convinced to do what i didn’t want to do and because they age difference just happened to be 14 and 18 instead of 14 and 17, i was able to file charges later. So hey, good news, I wasn’t molested and in an abusive relationship, i was just a promiscuous, slutty 14 year old whore!! No worries here, the fact that he was a manipulative bastard doesn’t’ matter . I was just a whore and experimental. Now I’m the cohersive whore in the relationship and the terrible person.Holy shit, I have uber bad hiccups! I thought it was just a joke that u hiccup when drunk XPSO for the last two days I’ve been upset because of counseling Wednesday morning and it’s sucked.i just wanna go for a long stroll but I’m only 20 so I can’t because legally I can’t drink anything so if a police noticed i’d be screwed. at least I’m with Trey tonight. I just wanna not feel like a whore.What if I was. maybe i made the whole “abusive relationship up” and used it as an excuse to cover my whore-ness. Anyways… I’m drunk/tipsy/ I’mma try to fix my typos and then convince Trey to lay with my (once I’ve finished the rest of my beer) because I’m feeling it.I just wanna be loved.
Comments (8)
Hugs. From what I know of you since I first met you on here, you were not at all a slutty teen. That bothers me a lot that your counselor made it seem like just another fling. Disturbing. :/ Don’t feel like a whore, feel loved, ok?
You are with a good man, so why not feel loved? We all do things as teens that don’t define who we are, in the long run. Going off on extreme tangents is a part of self-discovery, for many. It’s what you learn from an experience that matters more than the experience itself.
I’d have another talk with that damn counselor if I was you. Sounds like BS to me.
U need to find a new counselor
This one failed her coursework.
Not every counselor is correct.
Counselors aren’t supposed to make you feel even more like shit, and a good one who knew how to do their job wouldn’t do that. I’d seek a new one.
@MrsC_Est112709 - @sf2slc- @soltero_alma - @GreekPhysique - Thanks guys <3 I meet with her again on Thursday and I’m going to either write a letter out (that way I can organize my thoughts and not get distracted/off track) or try to talk with her about how it upset me and how I think she said something wrong. I also want to check and make sure that I didn’t take it out of context perhaps. Like maybe she didn’t mean it the way I took it, but since it’s a touchy subject for me, maybe I overreacted and drew more from it that I should have. We’ll see, but I’m going to be mature and talk to her about first.
It’s possible that she thought she was doing you a favor, that she wanted you too see it more as a sexual mistake than coercion or that she wanted you to forgive your 14-year-old self more. But she certainly didn’t express it too well.
@mypandabear - you’re all mature and grown up. Yes, put your emotion aside (as difficult that might be), and speak with her first. Counselors aren’t perfect either.
FYI, many people go into psychology because they try to figure themselves out.